Welcome to the ‘How do I become a better leader at work?’ series where we look at how we can improve our leadership skills and therefore become the most respected person in the organisation.
Let’s think about this to start with. Who in your place of work do people admire the most? What is it that this person has that people admire? People become attracted to others and it’s not due to anything magical, but because they have a certain set of qualities that people like.
What do people like in others?
Firstly, one rule is that people like people like themselves. People easily resonate with others who share similar likes and dislikes. People who support the same football team tend to like each other more. People who grew up in the same area tend to like each other more. The list goes on.
So what can you do to be liked by more people? You need to ask more than you tell. You need to be striking up conversations with people at work and find out what you can about them. You need to look for any similarities you can which will help you build rapport with that person.
Some questions to get you going are;
- Have you always lived in X?
- Do you have any siblings?
- Are there any X that you would recommend?
How do I become more interesting?
The key here is that you are asking more questions than giving answers. Often we speak to people and end up talking about ourselves but here we need to gather information.
If there is something that you recognise as a similarity then you will want to develop that further. This is the time when you can start to share your own personal stories. Make sure you don’t go in too much as you don’t want to overpower the relationship you are trying to build.
When your conversation is over, you need to make sure you know their name and something about them that you can bring up next time you see them such as “Hi, I tried that place you recommend and thought it was excellent”. Again, it’s about focussing on the other person and building the relationship through rapport.
How can Coachingforleverage.com help me?
At Coaching for Leverage, we specialise in working with people who want to develop their leadership skills at work. We use coaching to help you become the most interesting person in the workplace.